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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24751645">anywhere but here (song one shot)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayadrinkswater/pseuds/mayadrinkswater'>mayadrinkswater</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fifth Harmony (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:21:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24751645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayadrinkswater/pseuds/mayadrinkswater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>lauren and camila like each other, but lauren's mom is a homophobe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Camila Cabello &amp; Lauren Jauregui, Camila Cabello/Lauren Jauregui</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>anywhere but here (song one shot)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this the end of the moment</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The post of her kissing you was all over social media. You thought you were sneaky, kissing quickly before going to class in the school bathroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ariana got a photo of it, though, from one of “her snakes,” as she so graciously called them. She always hated them, said that they were stuck up and obnoxious. She wasn’t too far off, honestly. Her trust was in you, Dinah, Normani, and Ally. Also Lucy, but Lucy moved last year and aside from a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Happy Birthday</span>
  </em>
  <span> text, she hadn’t heard from her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She left, though, and it broke your heart, especially because you knew that she had no control over the matter. It was her homophobic mother ripping the two of you apart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>God, how you hated her mother.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Or just a beautiful unfolding / Of a love that will never be</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’d met her in sixth grade after running into her because Dinah was talking your ear off and your mind was elsewhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only thing that you clearly remember about her from that day was her bright green eyes and that butterfly shirt that you complimented her on. It was something that would look atrocious today, but if she wore it, she’d still look gorgeous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes you’d wonder if someone as beautiful as her was really real. You found yourself thinking about how gorgeous she was constantly as you got older, and then you found yourself wanting to hold her when she was sad and kiss her tears away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You thought it was just you caring too much until you realized that her complimenting you (and then just acknowledging you) put butterflies in your tummy and all you wanted to do was make her smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t platonic anymore, but that didn’t scare you. You thought you were just too invested, so you spent some more time with Dinah and insisted to yourself that you’d get over the feelings because you can’t feel that for a girl.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(You were wrong, obviously.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Or maybe be / Everything that I never thought could happen</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In 2015, when you were at the end of your freshman year of high school, the law was passed allowing homosexual couples to marry in the United States. You remember hearing kids talking about in schools and not really understanding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your mom explained in one simple sentence, “Some girls like girls and some boys like boys, and it’s just how things are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not everyone thought like that, you came to realize, which was why it was such a big deal in the first place. You ended up coming out to her that day by accident, explaining everything going on with Lauren and she held you, explaining that everything was fine with her and there was nothing wrong with you, but some people might not think so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You learned a lot about the world that day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Or ever come to pass and / I wonder if maybe, maybe I could be / All you ever dreamed</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinah asked Lauren during lunch one day about what she wanted from an ideal relationship. Lauren had an entire list, and you were surprised when you felt like you could check off every box.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You just couldn’t check off the box for </span>
  <em>
    <span>boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You’re a girl, and some people don’t believe that girls can love girls in the same way that girls love boys. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was your fear point: you were scared of coming out, you were scared of being judged in general, why add to the fire by telling people that you were gay?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinah then asked you, “What do you want in a boyfriend, Walz?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You answered vaguely, “For them to love me for who I am.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They didn’t ask about the non-male pronoun, and you’re kinda glad that they didn’t. It was the middle of the school day and you weren’t exactly keen on coming out yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Cause you are beautiful inside, so lovely and I / Can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lauren and you always seemed to be thinking about the future and where you wanted to go. You really only aspired after music, but she wanted to be a lawyer one day, a teacher another, sometimes even a writer. Lawyer commonly prevailed, though, and she constantly said that she was working for an academic scholarship to NYU.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t know until later why she wanted to leave Miami so much, but you mentioned that there were super good music programs in New York to her and that you might pursue them, and while you’d rather stay in Miami, you’d really follow her to the end of the Earth if she asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You were falling fast for her, you just didn’t realize it. You just brushed it off, you wanted to be close to her and you saw it as being best friends forever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And when I’m not with you, I know that it’s true / That I’d rather be anywhere but here without you / Anywhere but here</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was always weird for you when she wasn’t at school. You typically shared at least two classes a day, and sat next to each other in them, so it was always weird looking at that empty seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinah always teased you about how depressed or moody you were on the days that she was absent. You didn’t realize until later how much she knew just from watching the two of you; how far and fast you were falling for each other. She was always more aware of it than you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(And after you came out she routinely called you useless because of it.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it a natural feeling / Or is it just me bleeding / All my thoughts and dreams</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You berated yourself before you understood it. You told yourself that the feelings that you had for Lauren were wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Girls don’t look at their girl friends and think about kissing them. They don’t think about how pretty they would be if they took their shirt off, they don’t think about how they want to fall asleep and wake up to them every day for the rest of their lives.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You did, though. You dreamt of the day that you could look at Lauren and kiss her whenever you wished. You dreamt of the day that you could lay on the couch all day and cuddle with her while watching stupid movies that’d make you laugh and cry. You dreamt of standing in front of your families one day, professing your love to each other, and slipping the wedding rings on each other’s hands after saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>I do</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it was wrong, you told yourself. It was wrong to think of your best friend like that, despite the fact that you could have sworn she looked at you like that too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(You were right, you just didn’t accept it.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In hope that you will be with me or / Is this a moment to remember / Or just a cold day in December</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You always got together, you, Lauren, Ally, Dinah, and Normani, on December 23rd to celebrate friends-mas. You’d pick out gifts for each other and exchange them while drinking cups of hot cocoa and then watch Christmas movies together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinah would always get the gifts that’d make you all laugh, Ally would always bake stuff for you guys because you always begged for it, Normani would always get you guys new clothes in the form of a t-shirt or something that she thought would look flattering on you, Lauren would always either make something or give you guys something that she bought on impulse because she thought of you guys, and you’d always make super detailed cards singing your friend’s praises and make friendship bracelets that would change every year.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lauren’s thoughtful gift during your guys’ junior year to you was a necklace with a moon charm on it. It was simple, she had said she hadn’t spent more than 25 dollars on it, but it meant so much to you because you two had spent countless late nights up together over the years. It was when you’d have your deepest conversations.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You always loved listening to her speak, the way her mind processed and spoke of things fascinated you to no end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You told her a handful of times, “I love the way your mind works.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made her blush every time, but you always brushed it off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if maybe, oh maybe, I could be / All you ever dreamed</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not an hour after you came out to Dinah, she told you that she knew.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t say it straight off the bat, all she said when she first told you was that she loves you and she’ll always have your back if anyone tried to fuck with you because you like girls (because god forbid you don’t want to date a boogery boy).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She did say it though, explaining that she always thought there was something up between you and Lauren. She said that you two just were different, something in your stares was different than with your other friends, something in your mannerisms with her was different, and it was always reciprocated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She made you feel okay with your feelings, she helped you not feel like a weirdo. She let you know that you were okay, and then she helped you realize that you liked Lauren.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(She did the same thing with Lauren, you later learned.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Cause you are beautiful inside, so lovely and I / Can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She told you that she liked you in tears on April 17th. She was crying about liking girls and you mentioned that you had told Dinah you liked girls a year prior.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked at you, she hugged you. You didn’t completely understand the action, even though she was always cuddly with you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You remember so clearly what she said next, “You scared me, Camila, I always thought that you were straight and had no possibility of liking me back… and then you said you were gay and I was scared for a whole new reason.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You remember just holding her tighter, hoping that she’d never stop liking you (unless it was because she no longer liked you because she loved you). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of your fantasies ran to the front of your mind until you were halted by the ever-impending fear of everyone around you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You both talked about that and agreed to not pursue anything. You don’t really know if you regret it, based on what’s happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And when I’m not with you, I know that it’s true / That I’d rather be anywhere but here without you / Anywhere but here, anywhere but here</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a trip at the end of the month after Lauren came out to you. It was your last good moment together, you think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a trip to Disney World that the entire junior and senior classes got to take. It was a trip that took place over the last weekend in May from Friday to Sunday, meaning you’d get to room with your friends. Ally was two years older than the rest of you, meaning that she’d already graduated by the time you got to go on the trip, so the rest of you roomed together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was common knowledge by you and Lauren at that point that you liked each other, you’d been sleeping over at each other’s houses more often, spending more time together, trying the idea of you two together out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, no one knew about it. Not even Dinah, it was just you and Lauren with this secret. It was a good secret, to be honest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>During that trip, you and Lauren spent time together and Dinah noticed, but she didn’t say anything (well, until she did).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You and Lauren shared a bed, you two cuddled every night because you both loved physical affection so much, you couldn’t get enough of each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was your honeymoon phase.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, honeymoons end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this the end of the moment / Or just a beautiful unfolding</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinah mentioned it on the last day because you two were draped over each other while waiting in the hotel room for Normani to get ready.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You two look comfortable.” All she really knew was that Lauren had come out recently. You were the first, obviously, but over the next week, she told the rest of the friend group.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinah did know that you two were crushing on each other, though. She just didn’t know that you two knew that (and were pursuing it).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You remember feeling how her body froze at that; she had had her arm around your waist and her head on your shoulder. You had your hand on her thigh and were tracing small circles on her leg out of sheer boredom and because you knew she was okay with it. However, her body stiffened at Dinah’s comment, and you knew it wasn’t your fault, but it hurt like it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was distant the rest of the trip and the next couple days afterward until she slept over at your house and things seemed to be back to normal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You knew she was just scared of the judgment. You were too, but you knew your mom accepted and loved you. She didn’t have that, and you both knew it. But you two just wanted to be happy together, so you took the risk anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(You know that you’d do it again, you’d do anything for her.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Of a love that will never be / For you and me</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laid in bed the nights that you spent with her, talking. You spoke of anything and everything that came to mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You talked about your favorite episodes and characters on </span>
  <em>
    <span>Friends </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Game of Thrones</span>
  </em>
  <span>, shows that you both seemed to watch religiously (it was the one thing that you two did religiously, anyway).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You talked about school and all of the people that pissed you off. Austin Mahone, someone Dinah referred to as a Dorito, was a frequent flier on the douche-wagon. Brad Simpson was one for Lauren, apparently, he constantly hit on her despite her obvious disinterest (you two called him lipless loser). You also gossipped about the boys that hit on Normani and Dinah and how they weren’t what they deserved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You also talked about what you wanted out of the future, you wanting a career in the music industry and Lauren wanting a career in law. She even tried early applications in her junior year and was waiting for acceptance letters (you didn’t think she could get denied, she was just so fucking smart). With these conversations came talk about your futures, and you tended to want to spend them together, away from the judgment of her insane mother and everyone else that thought that your relationship was sinful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You two crafted a fairytale ending for yourselves, but there’s a reason that some things are fairytales.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Cause you are, you’re beautiful inside, you’re so lovely and I / Can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her mom found out almost instantaneously. She worked at the school and heard the rumors of the dykes that were caught kissing in the girls’ bathroom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She heard about how one of them was her daughter and all of a sudden your mom was getting calls from her mom about how you were never allowed to see Lauren again. You had “converted” their eldest daughter to </span>
  <em>
    <span>lesbianism</span>
  </em>
  <span> and you were now considered a bad influence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You cried into Dinah’s arms multiple times over the next year, upset about how you’d ruined everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All you could think of was how you hoped that she was okay, although you weren’t sure how she could be okay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You definitely weren’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And when I’m not with you, yeah, I know that it’s true / That I’d rather be anywhere but here without you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You ended up deciding on NYU. You told yourself that it was because their arts programs were insane and you’d earned your spot, so might as well take it, but Dinah insisted that you went because Lauren always said she wanted to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinah ended up going to Columbia and majoring in math and education, which you were so proud of her for. You were also psyched that you wouldn’t be too far from your best friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now you’re here, for your first day of classes, going to your literature class, and you see her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her long dark brown hair is now short and dyed black. She has a hoop in her nose and a smile on her face that you’ve never been so happy to see.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sees you, she hugs you, and then, without having to be behind closed doors, she kisses you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And you’re finally okay again because you’re with her.</span>
</p>
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